one girl's life

seriously. if lindsey has the balls to enter her new house in apartment therapy's fall color contest, i really should enter mine. i mean hello high contrast modern. libby thinks paint palace looks like a magazine. that counts for something, right? lindsey has lovely baby blue paint on her walls. i have her baby blue walls and plus a black chandelier....and that is just in my closet. sigh. i wish i had her bravato.

in other signs of addiction to the site, i think i might also do the fall cure...it is an 8 week plan to declutter/reorganize/redecorate your life.

if only AT would change back to the more user friendly format...

i am good at making messes.
if only cleaning them up were easy.

a year ago i never would have guessed this is where i would be.
so empty...but so close to the potential of being great....
look for me there.

/emo post.

se habla espanol.
amazing.

i want to post, but i dont even know where to start.
maybe i should focus my energy on my harvard application.
i dont want to talk about it too much, because i might jinx it.
but hello dream school!

i just wanted you to know that i intubated today.
i wanted to share that moment with you.
it is still such a feeling of accomplishment,
since i havent done a million times yet.

those moments of excitement are still special.
i just wanted you to know.

anyone in for:

red stick roller derby 2/28?

fat boy 5k (or 1 mile fun run) 3/28?

seriously!

yesterday was lovely.
actually it was perfect.

amsterdam is lovely.
my class is not as inspiring as i wanted...but it will suffice.
i must admit i am slightly homesick, which is silly.

i cant wait to fill you all in.
(especially when i am not renting internet by the minute)

disneyland paris today!

i am wearing my sweatshirt that i got to run in amsterdam.
maybe it will inspire me to run today.

and i mean more than run errands.

2009.
victoria v2.0.

nice girls finish last.

i wanted post secret to move me.
and it did.

someone gave me a secret once that was also sent to frank.
i pulled the post card out.
i remembered how beautiful it was to share that secret.

it is about not letting your secrets keep you...
unloading the secret unites us through human experience.

i feel alive to know that i have been allowed to help carry some secrets of others.

in medicine, we talk about not ordering tests that you dont know what you would do with the information....i think the same principle applies in real life...dont ask the questions you dont want the answer to either...

my pulmonary/ critical care staff told me i was voting for obama because i hate him.*
the thing was i never told him who i was voting for.
i asked him why he thought that, and he said he notices things.
he notices that i care; that i stand for equality; that i recognize disparity.
he said that like those were bad things.**


*i love where i work because we have a great joking work environment. he meant i hate him like an 8th grade girl hates the super jock (that she secretly loves). i mean really...i work at a place where we give a badge of honor to the biggest smart ass during the second year of residency (and fyi yes i won that award).

**he is mccain all the way. he thinks obama is a gateway drug to socialism.

i am breaking up with this week.
i pretty much am sad i ever tried to cohabitate with it in the first place.

at least my constellation prize is that the in training exam is over (kind of like the intern exam on grey's) and i have a bottle of wine that has luckily been opened for me...so i cant waste it.

rip 10/14-10/17.
actually i wouldnt care it got stuck in purgatory.

happy birthday [Bad username: willworkforbooze].
lots of sex, drugs, and rock and roll for you this coming year...

sorry for the melodrama...
but a little piece of me died today.

so much for being idealistic...